Monday, September 3, 2007

Can men and women be 'just friends'?

The short answer is 'Yes', but with conditions.

Men and women cannot be friends from the very beginning because the reason why a man, in particular, will be interested in a woman is not platonic. It is most likely to be sexual. At the start, two strangers of the opposite sex are always drawn together through basic physical attraction, nothing else. There is always the hope, by at least one party, that the friendship will lead to something more intimate, and possibly permanent. Friendship under that guise cannot ever be platonic. There will always be tension as one person tries to keep the other person as a 'friend' and the other tries to move that friendship along to something else.

The only time real friendship is possible between a man and a woman is when the expectations, on BOTH sides, have been satisfied, or clearly understood by both parties. Then they can move on to something more platonic without sexual needs interfering. By that time, both parties would either have fallen out of love, if they were lovers, and now enjoy a different level of understanding and appreciation, or they would have accepted the conclusion that only a platonic friendship is possible between them.

There are a few exceptions to this but there really are very few, because when it comes to men and women, sex will always be in the equation. That's how two people get together to reproduce our species and that will always be at the forefront of any meeting: the potential to mate. Obviously, once that is sorted, in one way or another, a different kind of friendship is possible. Each person will then appreciate the other in a more general way, feel more confident with the situation and more comfortable with having the person as a genuine friend. Only then will real friendship be allowed to develop.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

At the bottom of enmity between strangers lies indifference. See the link below for more info.

#strangers
www.ufgop.org